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| Dad & Mom at Hoover Dam in January 2013 |
As a young girl, I wasn't a daddy's girl (that title would be better worn by Melissa :P). But I definitely loved spending time with my dad and would gladly spend Saturdays trailing Dad as he worked in the yard asking question after question of why we were doing this or that. Eventually he put Melissa, Molly, and I to work, figuring that we could put our energy to good use ;)
But in my early teens, I went down two paths that would put space in our relationship. The first was adopting a new hobby: crochet. I was hooked on crochet as an 8 year old and eventually this hobby took over my Saturdays. No longer did I help outside, but I spent my time locked away in my room listening to radio dramas while I worked on, yet another, scarf. This wasn't wrong (and I will still spend some Saturdays doing this), but it did distance us and gave us less time with each other.
Additionally, I adopted some convictions on biblical womanhood. These principles were suggested by Godly women, whom I respect. However I twisted the principles and ignored their warnings that 'each family was different' and to 'implement these principles with the counsel of my parents'. I did exactly what they cautioned me not to do: I began to resent my dad for not being their dads, for not doing everything 'according to the book'. I failed to realize that God creates each family different. My dad isn't their dad, but I'm not that daughter, either.
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| Dad, Melissa, Molly, and I at an English County Dance (February 2010) |
The Lord is gracious and did just what he promises in Malachi 4:6: "...He will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers..." God did this in my relationship with my dad. It wasn't overnight. Neither I, nor my dad are real emotional (at least on the surface), so it wasn't some big discussion, or emotional confession.
It was over time. A big turning point was CollegePlus. One rift in our relationship had been a unspoken disagreement about college. I believed that young ladies shouldn't pursue higher education, but should focus their attention on preparing to be Godly wives and moms. My dad had made it clear that he thought I should pursue college. (Note: He did/does have reasons for this, which I do agree with now, but they are outside the realms of this post) While pursuing CollegePlus, I finally realized that my Dad was rooting for me -- We were (and still are) on the same team. This change in perspective was monumental for me.
The life purpose planning, that I completed in the early stages of starting CollegePlus, gave me a structured way to work through my future dreams and goals with my parents. In this way of sharing what we believed God was calling me do with my life, I was able to grow my relationship with both my parents. The doors of communication were re-opened and I was able to share my heart with my dad.
Over the past 18 months, I've come to appreciate my dad in so many ways. It's as if when put aside my resentments, God opened my eyes to see things I had been missing. When I stopped nagging and pushing for my own way and quietly prayed and waited for God's timing, things began happening. Then I realized that God had been working all along - I just had been so set on my way that I wasn't open to God's way (which is always better than our own).
This is a (non-exhaustive) list of some of those things I've been able to observe and appreciate in my dad...
- He leads our family is a weekly time of prayer
- He (and my mom) consistently tells others of how grateful they are to have me living at home.
- He encourages me to pursue my passions and is always willing to discuss ways that I can use my gifts
- He has pushed me outside my comfort zone :)
- He teases me and makes me laugh at myself
- He confesses his weaknesses and admits he doesn't have all the answers
- He continually grows his relationship with God. Even though he's not a Bible expert (and he'd be the first to admit that), He strives to grow in Christ and encourages me to do the same
- He allowed my mom to homeschool, then encouraged her to keep going, when the road became difficult
- He supports us! Working long hours and constantly going above and beyond the call of duty, my dad has never shirked his duty to provide for his household.
I also want to honor my grandfathers.
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| Grandpa Jim (Paternal Grandfather) |
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| Grandpa Bob (Maternal Grandfather) |
These two men have (and continue to have) a profound impact on me. Both have been wonderful fathers and grandfathers. They have both remained faithful to their spouses and can boast of marriages that have stood the test of time (over 50 years, each!) They first invested in my parents by raising and supporting my parents. Additionally, they have invested in my sisters and I by sharing stories and encouraging us in life.
Happy Father's Day to each of you! I am so grateful to God to have you as my fathers!
"Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who delights greatly in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed." ~Psalm 112:1-2
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